I am so unbelievably depressed right now. I want to be home. It's even more depressing my first post in a while is depressing T.T I've been so sad for the past like week. I feel forgotten. I feel like that alot though in general usually anyway, like my presence doesn't matter really. Like I know that whether I am there or not, honestly, would make absolutely no difference. And that is really depressing. But maybe I'm just being an emo retard right now -_- I'm missing Lisa's party and that just made me uncontrollably sad. I'm like bawling. I bawled when I knew they went to go take the underwater pictures and i wasn't there. I bawled when they told me they missed me when i at first really didn't believe it. I freaking bawled when my Youth Minister commented on my facebook saying that SCLT wanted me home because they missed me. It made me cry even more, because that was the first amount of love and longing i felt from friends in while. But it made me even more sad because I felt that my church friends who I havent even known for a year yet, only like half a year, miss me more than those I've known for like 6 years.  I feel like I'm losing my best friends. I feel like I'm losing my school friends. But I think its the homesickness in me thats talking. Ugh I want to go home. I feel really really alone when I sit here and type, or when i'm on the computer in general. I should get off, but that isn't going to happen. Funny thing is I feel like I shouldn't post this. I do that alot. I type up everything thats up in like MS word documents, that i intend to post. But i just don't. Writing feels good. What balls. I should be talking about how fun my vacation is. But everytime I have fun, i get brought down by the fact that I'm missing things at home. I need to suck it up. but I feel like complete shit and I'm going to go cry some more. I'll try be more positive. I'm really trying to put on the happy face. Its just really really hard. On the bright side, singing is making me feel better. I put my music back on iTunes and dled some more. I really missed music.

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I'm in so much of a better mood today (: (: (:
I got my menudo. Got burned by firecrackers and fireworks. And burned our symbolic old year man with them.
Plus watching Bewitched this morning put me in a good mood.
Now I'm going to have menudo for breakfast and everything will be fine (:
and i really really need to stop being such an emotional pansy. T.T
Happy New Year everyone! :D